What I Believe About Finding "The One"

Charles and I had a fairytale start to our <a href="https://www.rachelvarkey.com/love/he-found-me-in-the-field/">love story</a>. We met and fell in love fast and took the bullet train to marriage. Within the period of a year, we fell in love, got engaged, got married, and moved in together.

It was exhilarating and a little overwhelming, but one of the most important and meaningful decisions of my life.

Charles’ nature challenged me from the start. He is annoyingly confident, and believes he deserves to be at the table in any room he’s in. He hates injustice and is willing to ruffle feathers in a way I’ve never been able to.

We approach and see the world in different ways. I am extremely empathetic and passionate about relationships, naturally risk averse, and a seasoned realist. He is driven by wonder and dreams without limits, maintains childlike faith, and is willing to always see the glass half full.

That difference can be extremely uncomfortable. There are so many times I want him to console me and validate my feelings when I’m challenged by the obstacles of life.

Oftentimes, when I get into this space, I already know that Charles isn’t going to give me the thing I want — pity. Instead, he gives me what I need — a push, with an affirmation of who God has made me, and the truth of what I’m capable of.

Our natural inclination is to shy away from growing into the man or woman we are called to be. We hide from those moments, feeling like we’re correct to stay where we are. We want to remain victims to the obstacles we face.

I believe "The One" will often make you uncomfortable.

I believe "The One" will push you to think outside your limits.

I believe "The One" will propel you in the direction of growth.

God places people in our life not just to console and help us find a tribe, but to actually push us closer to Him.

Most of the time, growth doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t send you flowers or teddy bears. It doesn’t coddle you when you’re at your breaking point.

Don’t be fooled. Great love, the love worth fighting for, does not feel good all the time. What it does feel is secure, constant, and something you can trust in.

Great love, love that is meant to last a lifetime, requires you to step away from the smoke and mirrors, and get one step closer to who you are.